Meaningful discussions …
Boring, Recurring …
How boring are recurring health issues? Just dull as ditch water, to my mind.
When you have chronic illnesses, health related problems do tend to recur but, no, I don’t want to talk about them.
Yes, this may cause me to feel pain, anger, frustration and many other things but, no, I don’t want to discuss my ‘feelings’ …
You, as a bystander, may find my poor health of interest, maybe even be concerned for me but, sadly, no, I genuinely couldn’t be less interested in discussing my illness-related symptoms.
Used to my own poor health, I have reached a plateau of truly-don’t-give-a-shit, just make me laugh about anything else, please.
But, everyone I know, except D – who is broadly in the don’t-give-a-shit mode with me – seems to find this odd.
NOT WHEN YOU’VE LIVED WITH IT FOR 17 YEARS!
Trust me. I have spent so much time in hospitals, talking to medics, dealing with ghastly physical consequences that I am numb to it all … and bored.
So, even when I have erupting volcanic cancerous sores visible on my face – lovely image, right? And, yes, as bad as it sounds – I do not want to talk about it, the only feelings I want to express are of the four letter variety and I do still want to have fun. Ditto for neurological relapses.
If I feel bad, you will not see or hear from me and, if you need to visit my home during these periods, I will not appreciate a running commentary on how I look or be responsive to silly questions like, ‘does it hurt?’
If I want to tell you, I will but, generally, talking about miserable things makes me miserable and I just don’t do it.
So, suck it up, people, because if I can deal with it, quietly and without a fuss, so can you. Peace is what I need, and laughs. Meaningful discussions on my dismal health? Not so much, thanks.
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